Cauliflower and Lockdown Inspiration

#Lockdowninspiration for men.

I bought a big Cauliflower the other day with the desire to have my favorite Aloo Gobi sabzi (dry). As we do not have the luxury of the cook (who is an expert in the preparation of Aloo Gobi) these days, I was absolutely at the mercy of my wife for cooking the dish. Everyday since the majestic vegetable was bought, I opened the refrigerator and found it continuing its whimper for salvation. My wife had other priorities for cooking!

Yesterday, I announced that I am going to make the sabzi for lunch. I googled the recipe of ‘Aloo Sabzi’ and picked up at random one out of hundreds of recipes. My only criteria for the selection was that the recipe should be from a man (Sorry if I sound a bit male chauvinistic). I presumed that men would be extremely sympathetic towards men and they would narrate every little task and explain things like a patient tuition teacher who tutors a student who failed Grade X thrice.

(Like explaining complex words like ‘simmer’/‘stir’/‘saute’ and help in distinguishing certain labels for which I do not have any clarity: eg. a. Tablespoon/ Teaspoon/ Serving spoon, b. Slice/Dice/Chop/Mince/Shred c. Deep fry/Pan fry. d. Grate/Grind etc.)

I followed the steps given in the recipe religiously. Thanks to the lock down, I was not in a hurry for anything (Nothing worth left in Amazon Video and Netflix; Corona analysis in TV makes me further depressed (Everyone is an expert); Fed up of seeing WhatsApp which is full of tiktok videos from everyone (from the priest to the maid).

There was no multi tasking. I gave my complete/undivided attention (except when my wife entered to snoop or to smell a danger). Though the recipe said the total time as 45 minutes, I took double the time. But the result was amazing. And I used just one spoon of oil (don’t ask me which spoon) and I did not pour a single drop of water (‘Raw cauliflower is 92% water’). Perfect outcome for my first ‘completed kitchen project’ (I know I am praising myself too much). The above fact was substantiated by my wife and daughter as they liked Aloo Gobi (semi dry) sabzi (On merits and not out of sympathy – they clarified). We had it for lunch (with rice) and dinner (with garlic bread made by my wife).

I have been an advocate of creativity. I gained tremendous personal satisfaction every time I achieved something or created something. I felt the same when I did this.

The lessons I learnt:

a. I took more than 90 minutes for making a simple sabzi. But, how did my wife or my mother or the cook made over half a dozen items within couple of hours? Cooking is really a marvelous art!! It is real hard labour too! They are definitely successful multi-taskers!

b. How many times I had criticized the dish without realizing the efforts behind its creation? (I regret..I repent...)

c. How rich and healthy are Indian dishes – with so many spices, condiments and herbs go into the making of a single dish! I never realized this before!

d. Even if cooking was easy, the cleaning up and washing the utensils take double the time. Our kitchen managers need an applause every day, for every meal! And a standing ovation before and after every special occasion feast!!

e. Last lesson (to men): I am tempted to say this: “Don’t repeat this so often. Declaring ignorance would give you plenty of time – to sleep, to watch movies, to read and to do nothing.”.

BUT..I would tell instead: “Get inside the kitchen to cook, to clean and to crack jokes”.

Life is tough. Life is painful. Life brings us so much miseries. Each of us have our own share of happiness and sorrow. But, there is no other way…we have to face them…

A Cauli Flower or a cabbage crying in your refrigerator can help you to be humble creators of happiness all around, at least for sometime! Rush…to your kitchen my dear brothers!

© Sibichen K Mathew Image: alamy stock photo

A Good Friday Nightmare

It was Good Friday night last year. I was in deep sleep after participating in an outdoor ‘Stations of the Cross” procession and subsequently hogging the left over bread (Appam) of the Maundy Thursday Passover meal. Past midnight, In the early hours, did I get a precognitive dream? I am not sure.

Heard a loud sound of a trumpet. I opened my eyes and there stood an old man!
I asked. “Who are you?”
He said: “I am Father Abraham”
Definitely not my school principal.
The song I learnt during Sunday School summer camp reverberated in the ears:

“Father Abraham had many sons
Many sons had Father Abraham
I am one of them and so are you
So let's all praise the Lord.
Right arm, left arm, right foot, left foot,
Chin up, Chin down, turn around, sit down!”

I got up. ‘Are you the Yamaraj who came to take me?’.

‘No, but I can tell your past, present or future, if you wish.’, he said.
‘No point in telling about my past or my present. Tell me something about my future’. I said.
“Yes, your wish is granted”. He continued.
“I will tell you about your next Good Friday. Is that okay?”
“2020?”. I asked to make sure he follows the Gregorian calendar.
He said, “Yes. 2020”.
I said fine.

He started in a serious tone.

“On that day you will get up and brood as usual. Because, for many weeks you had not gone out of your home. You will continue to be in hiding for long. You will not know where you kept your watch for long time. You will not have shaved your face and you will not have combed your hair for long. You would not allow anyone to visit your house. If anyone rings the bell, you would run inside the bedroom and hide there. You would stop reading newspapers. You would have already stopped taking the daily packet of milk from the vendor.”

I became scared about my future after hearing him. What would happen to me?

He continued:

“You would keep the doors and windows of your house closed for weeks and months. You would be scared of the flies, the ants and even the air entering from outside to your house. One day you would come out to the balcony and start beating a steel plate with a spoon. Another night you will suddenly switch off all lights and lit a candle and stand in darkness!”

At this point I realized, I am going to be a lunatic by next year.

He did not stop predicting my misfortune.

“You will forget to take bath and brush your teeth. But you will stand near the wash basin and will wash your hands again and again and again. You will end up spending more time washing utensils and cleaning the floor again and again and again”

“OCD. Is it?” I asked Father Abraham.

He didn’t say anything. He continued:

“You will keep counting every grain stored in the cupboard and will consume even the last broken rice on your plate. You will frantically search all around the floor for that little chick pea that dropped from the grocery basket. You will never throw the first and last piece of bread in the packet. You will relish the thick black burnt toast.”

“Will I be in utter poverty? I lost my job?” I asked. He didn’t answer.

“You will spend more time in your bed. But you will be asked to work. You will work wearing a full sleeves shirt but without your pants and sit before a screen. You will be asked to hide your face and go for work, but you will refuse because you are frightened to be out of your house.”

I was in a shock. What would happen to me? Am I going to be mad, sick, poor, or a criminal in hiding? I don’t have a clue.

“Can I escape from this impending problem?” I asked.

“No”, He said.

I started weeping.

Then he said: “You are not alone. All human beings will be like you. All of them will undergo the same ordeal”.

I heaved a sigh of relief!

But I asked him: “Can you help us? Can you – the supernatural beings or messengers of God save us?”

He said: “No I can’t. Nor anyone from the place I come from can help you. ‘And besides all this, between us and you a great chasm has been set in place, so that those who want to go from here to you cannot, nor can anyone cross over from there to us.’ “

I begged and cried again: “Can you send someone to teach us and guide us how to prevent the problems or how to sail through this impending calamity?”

“You have scientists, policy makers, doctors, researchers, priests, nuns, sages, gurus, thinkers, healers, magicians and prophets. They have machines, patents, weapons, robots, prayers, prescriptions, cures and short cuts. If they don’t do what they are supposed to do, even if someone who died and reached heaven can't come down and save all of you!!” He said.

I couldn’t say anything. He disappeared.

I went back to sleep. I forgot everything when I got up. I hurried to get ready, skipped the breakfast cooked for me, rushed out to work place, to achieve my target, to have fun and to have a little pleasure and then came back home tired and watched TV, browsed the net and slept. But I prayed. ‘Lord, don’t give me nightmares anymore!’.

(The nightmare is personal and fictional.)

© Sibichen K Mathew. Image: iconspng.

Mind Without Fear: The wisdom from a white collar convict

It can’t be defamatory or slanderous if one calls a person convicted for a white collar crime, a criminal. But, as the saying goes, every saint has a past and every sinner has a future.

As Rajat Gupta, former McKinsey & Co chief, who worked in the Board of Goldman Sachs and the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation Advisory Board and served as the advisor to the United Nations, the Rockefeller Foundation and the World Economic Forum, shares his wisdom in his book “Mind Without Fear” (Released on March 24, 2019), one can possibly get convinced that only a sinner can be a successful preacher.

Victim of prejudice?

Rajat Gupta is back this week in Indian School of Business (ISB) Hyderabad, which he co-founded and led for many years, to tell the budding business leaders about the goodwill he generated and ultimately lost, which resulted in his exile for almost a decade for ‘no fault of his’.  There could be several eyebrows raised on the message his audience comprising mostly the future business leaders would derive from his futile defense, having served the full term of conviction for the crime. Irrespective of what his words are – in his speech or in the book, there could be a certain inference that the same would be perceived as a message of decriminalizing a white collar offence. Based on his words of rationalization, would the young minds conclude that white collar crimes are products of circumstances rather than outcomes of criminal minds? Based on his narration of how unfair he was treated after the charge, would there be an apprehension that white collar crime trials are marred by primordial prejudices and therefore unfair?

Victim of circumstances?

Though Gupta’s book, as he admits, is neither aimed at defending himself nor an instrument to to redeem himself of the unpleasant past, its purpose is to demonstrate his innocence.  Gupta tells the readers that he was a victim of circumstances. Here, one would get reminded of the  famous “Fraud Triangle” theorist Donald Cressey who identified ‘rationalization’ as one of the key elements of fraud behavior as perceived by the fraudster. Gupta is grieved by the way someone whom he trusted cheated him and put his entire career and the long lived reputation into jeopardy.  He is also saddened not only by the trial which he thinks was prejudicial, but also how McKinsey with which he had long relationship with uncompromising commitment and hard work, reacted to his insider trading case.

Rajat Gupta, was charged by the prosecution of insider trading on Wall Street with hedge fund manager Raj Rajaratnam. After 4 years of investigation, as against the prosecution’s demand of 10 years of imprisonment, the Senior District Judge for the Southern District of New York imposed a sentence of 2 years. Court appreciated the past good work of Rajat Gupta and found it to be a mitigating sentencing factor. He was imprisoned in June 2014 and was staying in Federal Medical Centre Devens, a federal correctional facility in Massachusetts. Around 5 months before completing the prison term, he was allowed to spend the rest of the sentence at home after receiving credit for good behavior.

Redeeming the moral credits

When Rajat Gupta, who was already extremely financially affluent played a crucial role in aiding Rajarathinam, the motive may not be money. While conducting the trial, the Judge Rakkoff was puzzled why a successful businessman, a philanthropist  and a mentor for many senior leaders in the industry committed such an offence? Mr. Gupta had catalogued all his philanthropic activities to demonstrate that he was always a good person. He submitted character certificates from several famous persons including Bill Gates, Deepak Chopra and Kofi Annan. It is reported that he had filed letters from his own family members about his acts of kindness! As Todd Haugh, a scholar of white collar crimes, rightly observed, there was an attempt to apply the “metaphor-of-the-ledger neutralization” technique originally propounded by the criminologist Mark M. Lanier. The attempt was to project the good deeds as a mitigating factor.

Questions to the business schools

Image: poetsandquantsforexecs 

A few questions emerge from the above discussion for further pondering: When several good deeds overshadow one bad deed, can that be condoned? When a person demonstrates his inherent goodness and states that a momentary aberration was seen as a serious crime because of certain prejudices, is it amounts to decriminalization of an offence? Will the above position would influence the young business minds to trivialize the need for uncompromising adherence to the standards of corporate governance and business ethics? May be, the professors and mentors in the area of business management, are the right persons to answer the above questions and decide whether the experiences shared by people like Rajat Gupta are warning signs or justifications for white collar crimes. But, one can't write off Rajat Gupta - a person with exceptional managerial competence and leadership skills! His life and achievements are inspirational too!

--> ( © Sibichen K Mathew    Views are personal. www.sibichen.in) -->

"HNY": Take it or Leave it!

-->

Even if 364 days we were not in touch with someone, we would definitely wish that person around new year. That is the magic of the ‘New Year’, though there is nothing sacrosanct about the date January 1^st. There are many cultures in the world where people celebrate new year on dates other than the January 1 fixation of the Gregorian, Roman and Julian calendars. New Year is definitely an occasion to remember all those who were kind and considerate to you in the last one year and earlier years by sending them thoughtful best wishes.

New Year wishing has become easy in an age of WhatsApp. I fondly remember my student days when I exhausted all my pocket money to print customized greetings cards with my own words of wishes and sent to all dear and near ones. Later in life, it was e-Mails.

The Messages

WhatsApp greetings are cheap, instant and amenable to easy copy-paste. We get plenty of messages without specifically addressing us. Nevertheless, we get wished on time by friends. I devote about one hour each for about ten days around the new year to send personal wishes to my near and dear ones, in batches. Perhaps, due to inevitable preoccupations, that might be the only time in a year, I might have re-connected to cherish some valuable interactions of the past.

The trend now is to forward video messages. There will be hundreds of forwarded video messages in our inbox wishing happy new year and to open each of those messages and play the video would eat away too much of our time. So, the best option is to assume that they have forwarded a beautiful new year wish made by someone and then to acknowledge it without ever opening them. Another set of messages come with instructions like “Touch here to see a magic”! As there are many cyber punks during mischiefs with messages that can compromise on the cyber security, many decide not to touch those touchy forwards. I am sure we all prefer original text messages even if it contained only three words - Happy New Year - rather that those sparkling  forwards! Those busy doctorate holders in ‘texting’ will send you “HNY”. You take it or leave it!

The Replies

Most wise people are those who send a reply message to your long, original message (not a forward) by sending just three key words: “Wish you the same”. There are some one-way traffic wishes, which just say “Thank you for the wishes” without ever wanting to reciprocate the wish to you, assuming that the new year is limited only to the place he lives. A few are more frugal with words and reply, “Thanks”.  Some busy people never acknowledge a new year wish since they think that the sender is not privileged to get a reply. Some VVIPs think on those lines.

There are some people who would like to maintain consistency and tradition. They will send the same customized message every year. There are a few who promptly wish you back writing “Wish you a happy birthday”, obviously misled by the auto-complete option.

But, you might have noticed one fact. It is the busy people who are the fastest to respond for a new year wish. It is said that, busy people always have spare time than others!

The Losers and the ‘Fussers’

With all above innovations and idiosyncrasies, New Year time is fun as millions of wishes crisscross the ‘free’ telecom space all over the world. The real losers are the postal departments and the greeting card sellers.  And there are a few conservative innocent beings who still consider that sending them a message instead of wishing them over phone is an insult!

Happy New Year to all once again!

© Sibichen K Mathew      Views are personal.