Musings for a responsible society




Amidst the dark and grey shades increasingly engulfing, invading and piercing deeper and deeper, let me try to enjoy the little smiles, genuine greens, and the gentle breeze. Oh! Creator! If you don't exist, my life...in vain!
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Friday, March 11, 2016

Why some bosses chose to be inaccessible?

Mr Menon is one of the senior Directors in an organization. Though he is in charge of Human Resource Management, his subordinates say that he seems to be one of the most inhuman officers. Menon has given strict instructions to everyone such that nobody is allowed to meet him without a prior appointment through his secretary. Further, the secretary has been told to deny appointments in the first instance. Only if people persist and beg for a meeting will they be given a slot, which is also not immediate. He basically wants people to believe that he is very busy and does not wish to encourage walk-in visitors.

One Division Head, who had recently joined the organization, faced a serious HR issue within his division and wanted to personally meet the Managing Director to brief him. As he used to in his previous organization, he called up the Managing Director - who is just one level above him - and requested for a meeting. The Managing Director got annoyed and said, ‘Contact my secretary if you want to get a meeting fixed with me.’ The response was shocking for the senior manager. He told his colleague, ‘This is the first time in my 15 years of working that I have been so rudely treated by a boss. I don’t think I will be able to work under such bosses.’ After joining the new organization with a lot of motivation and eagerness to bring in innovations, the Division Head felt disappointed and almost felt like quitting.


Unapproachable bosses tend to keep a distance from their subordinates and often fail to understand the people around them. They wear the garb of a ‘serious’ taskmaster. Their juniors might fear them and hold back on giving them honest feedback. There can also be overall dissatisfaction in their teams.

We are used to hearing this phrase: ‘Content is the king; conversation is the queen’. Boris Groysberg and Michael Slind say that leadership is a conversation . They conducted a research project on the state of organizational communication in the 21st century and found that smart leaders engage with employees in a way that resembles an ordinary ‘person to person’ conversation, rather than through one-sided commands. They identified four elements of organizational conversation that reflect the key attributes of interpersonal conversation: intimacy, interactivity, inclusion and intentionality.

Robert Greene, in his 16th Law of power, advises that if you ‘make yourself too available then the aura of power you have created around yourself will wear away. Turn the game around: make yourself less accessible and you increase the value of your presence.’ However, in the post-globalized world where changes happen rapidly, decisions need to be taken every moment and the team needs to be motivated and directed to new areas for the survival of the organization, no leader can afford to play the game of hide and seek. Thus, an absence like this would not create respect and esteem.  Boyatzis and Annie wrote:‘Mindfulness, hope and compassion are the three key elements for resonant leadership.’ Being present and being respected is the new ball game. The belief that ‘familiarity breeds contempt’ is passé.

The need for a zero hour

Under rules of proceedings of Indian Parliament, there is a provision called Zero Hour. This is a period when any Member can ask a question concerning administration, governance or issues of public interest by giving notice prior to the start of daily proceedings to the Speaker/Chairman. Similarly, it is necessary for bosses of large organizations to give time to team members to meet him and discuss or share issues. Caroline Ghosn, CEO, the Levo League said : ‘Dedicate one hour a week to hosting office hours: open your door, block your calendar and invite your team to drop in and share.’

Here is an example of a senior officer at a large public organization of about 10000 officers and 50000 staff who holds the most important position with highly sensitive and demanding tasks. She is responsible for reporting to the highest functionaries in the government, including a Cabinet Minister. Every minute of hers is valuable. She hardly gets time at home because of the pressure of official tasks. However, the first thing she did as soon as she was elevated to the post was to send out a letter across the organization, welcoming anyone with an unsettled grievance to meet with her or send their messages or grievances at an exclusive email id monitored by her personally. . Further, she informed everyone that they could call her directly between 10 to 11 am on all working days. She strongly believes that every official is an asset and the output and overall success of the organization depends on their happiness. 

Unapproachable boss is a ‘loser’

An unapproachable boss doesn’t earn the respect of people around him. He does not get real feedback about the organization as he fails to be receptive to people. Thus, the ultimate loser is the organization itself. It is imperative that those with excellent communication and management skills are the ones who are  appointed to the top levels in any organization. Training in soft skills is also as important at the top levels as in the lower ones.  Though there may be criticism that it is wasteful to ‘apply manure at the fag end’, it is necessary to do so in many organizations, especially those where top leadership positions are filled up solely on the basis of seniority.

Heard this joke somewhere:
‘I  don’t want any callers this afternoon,’ said the boss to his secretary, ‘And if they say that their business is important, just tell them that everyone says the same thing.’
 That afternoon his wife called and insisted on seeing him. When the secretary refused, she said, ‘I am his wife,’ to which the secretary replied, ‘That’s what they all say.’

The boss needs to step out of the tower

1.            Develop keen interest in knowing about the employees:

The boss needs to have an understanding of the backgrounds of his team members. If the span of control is large, the boss should have ready access to each employee’s profile, which contains their family details, leave history, relevant medical history, recent career profile, etc.

2.            Receptivity

The attitude, temperament, behaviour and visible expressions of the boss should be such that no one would hesitate to approach him with an issue. 

3.            Enthusiasm

No one likes a boss who is lethargic, sluggish and too matter of fact. Bosses should have the ability to make the other person comfortable and forthcoming with ideas and opinions. His overall body language should be oriented towards those who come to converse with him. Who would like to interact with a person who has a disinterested air about him?  

4.            Availability

The boss should be mobile. That doesn’t mean that he should not spend time in his cabin; but he should be available for people to see him with regularity. If he is frequently away on travel or spends most of his time only with his boss or colleagues, it would affect smooth upward communication.

Question to you:            Do you have a boss like this? 

Introspection for you:   Are you one such boss??

The above article is substantially drawn from author’s best-selling book ‘When the Boss is Wrong: The Making and Unmaking of the Leader within You’, which is available in most online and offline bookstores. Grab a copy to know about how bad bosses kill employee morale.

“The book ‘When the Boss is Wrong’ provides an insight on how to become a leader who is respected. Its use of amusing illustrations, anecdotes and examples brings to life situations typically encountered at the workplace.’ (Cyrus P. Mistry, Chairman, Tata Sons Ltd)


© Sibichen K Mathew         Views are personal             sibi5555 (gmail)

Monday, February 29, 2016

Sweet tongue to Iron hand: The paradoxes of the banking mode of conduct

May be this is an exaggeration. But I felt many times that there is only one place in the world where we find a strange combination of sweet tongue and intelligent deception followed by cutthroat action. That is the banking sector.  We would also see the greatest paradoxes there. While the multibillionaire who evades the repayment is treated with soothing drinks and cookies in the chamber of the chief manager, the goons of the bank threaten the poor farmer with auction notices for his hut, driving him to suicide. Such banking mode of conduct is not limited to the private banks, but to the public sector, the scheduled and the co-operative banks as well.
Image: 123rf.com

Who will render justice in an unequal banking world? It was sad to hear that a poor farmer was imprisoned in Kerala for the delay in repaying an instalment of the loan taken to pay his daughter’s fee. A few days back a farmer who stayed in Kundapur in Udupi who owned 1.3 acre of rubber plantation committed suicide when he could not repay a loan from a co-operative society.

For a ‘favored’ customer, loan conditions are either waved or compliances fabricated. But, the banker will look at a small customer who is in dire need of a loan as a potential cheater who might run away with bank’s money and insist for compliance to stringent and outdated terms and conditions. Apart from farmers, another category of victims of highhandedness of banks are the students. Not very long ago, a hapless nursing student committed suicide due to the harassment of bank officials. Impractical, complex and discouraging approach of the bank authorities force people to fall in the hands of unscrupulous and greedy money lenders.

When I got my job, I approached the manager of a scheduled bank for a car loan. Apart from the hypothecation of the car, salary certificate and an agreement to debit the EMI from the salary account, the manager wanted original deed of at least 2 acres of land as security to grant the loan, that too at an exorbitant interest rate.

It looks like most bank managers are trained to do anything for the sake of results. They are committed ‘utilitarians’.  They believe in the end, not the means. So much we hear about promotion of start-up companies these days. But ask any young, bright and enthusiastic innovator who wants funds for her venture about her experience while interacting for a bank loan.  Most bank managers are hesitant to support young entrepreneurs like her in spite of a collateral security. Even if their actions lead to shattering of dreams of a farmer, entrepreneur, or a student, the officials go by rulebook if the customer is not a big fish. However banks and their legal teams close their eyes on the benami properties of large defaulters who ran to BIFR (The Board of Industrial and Financial Reconstruction) or other similar agencies. Banks in turn treat the outstanding as irrecoverable bad debts and cry to the government for schemes in the budget to rescue their stressed assets.

Bank managers are never shy of illegal or slush money (I don’t like to use the world ‘black’ to refer to unaccounted money as the world has inherent racial bias). In those days when banking was not computerized, bank managers used to keep the account pass books of the large depositors of money not disclosed to tax authorities in their cabin or in their house. These accounts were known only to the manager or his one or two trusted staff. They still do that albeit in different ways. Not only swiss banks, many desi banks too are notorious for money hiding. They will receive any sum with widely stretched hands and lips. Financial institutions are supposed to send ‘Cash Transaction Reports’ (CTR) and ‘Suspicious Transaction Reports’ (STR) to the Financial Intelligence Unit of the country (FIU-IND). However, detection of huge unaccounted income by enforcement authorities indicates that the reporting mechanism has been flouted in such cases. Immediately before the serial bomb blasts in Coimbatore in 1997, it was noticed that crores of rupees were transacted through the bank accounts of an STD booth owner from a branch of a scheduled bank in Mumbai to its branch in Coimbatore. Funds related to drug trading, terrorism and other illegal activities are transacted through KYC-non-compliant accounts and it is extremely difficult to nab the criminals and beneficiaries and to ascertain the character and purpose of the transactions.

Some bank officials double up as tax consultants too. Many managers are experts in giving dubious tax advices to those slush money holders and tax evaders who want to pump them to respectable domains. They suggest different strategies based on the quantum of the amount. If the amount is only a few million, they suggest them to deposit the money in multiples of Rs 49999/- or less to escape quoting of PAN number. The mangers are very benevolent by giving them blank Forms (15G/15H)  to sign which contain a declaration that the taxable income of the depositor from all sources is below taxable limit and therefore no tax be deducted from the interest income. Some mangers would open accounts in various names (they themselves will suggest the names, if the depositor is in short of names to open SB accounts: Ramasamy, Chinnasamy, Munisamy, Narayanasamy, Rathnasamy etc. with many permutations and combinations of names ending in Samy, Sami, Swami, and Swamy ). Some co-operative banks in the country are dens of illegal deposits and therefore they oppose the rules related  to quoting of PAN and deducting tax on the interest income. People spend huge sums to get elected to the boards of such banks for obvious reasons.

Some banks aid in money laundering in grand scale globally. Recently, a few banks including one in the public sector were found to be aiding an organized racket of money laundering in the guise of remittances related to export and import. As per reports, many domestic help, rickshaw-pullers, drivers and unemployed youth were made directors in fake companies (by giving them a few thousands of rupees) as part of Rs 6000 cr ‘banking-hawala’ scandal. The scam came to light when an internal audit team alerted the top managements about a fraudulent trade circuit wherein exports were made through inflated bills and duty drawback claimed through fake import bills by a few businessmen. Case is being investigated by CBI, ED and SFIO (Serious Fraud Investigation Office).

If you thought that only persons like Satyam’s Ramalingaraju can show huge deposits out of thin air to mislead the investors and potential collaborators, you are mistaken. Some of the bank mangers in interior Kerala could certify that their branch deals in huge foreign currency to aid the black money launderers. In one case it was found by the concerned enforcement authorities that a bogus certificate was issued by the manager of a scheduled bank that a particular NRE account maintained in the branch contained huge amounts in foreign currency and a cheque was issued to a tax evader by the account holder as a gift out of ‘love and affection’. Everything was strange here: Donor and donee didn’t know each other; foreign currency was not actually deposited by the customer, but by an agent dealing in such currencies; and donee paid the money in Indian rupees including an attractive commission to the agent. The bank manager and the NRE account holder got their share of commission for illegally ‘renting’ out the bank account for such transactions. How could such transactions escape the internal audits and statutory audits? (That is another issue of concern. The present system of statutory audit is marred by corruption, nepotism and inefficiency. Read this article).

Thousands of cases of cyber money frauds are happening across the globe. Lakhs of people are cheated by the fraudsters who operate as insurance agents, telecom tower installers, multilevel marketing firms etc. In all these cases money is ultimately withdrawn by the fraudsters through bank accounts opened by violating the KYC (Know Your Customer) guidelines and hence police is unable to track the funds or the criminals. Banks cannot absolve their responsibilities in such crimes perpetrated with the connivance of their officials.

Banks are also unjustly enjoying thousands of crores of unclaimed deposits without taking any action as per the circulars issued by RBI directing them to find out the whereabouts of the depositors or their immediate heirs, nominees or introducers. They are reluctant to treat them as inoperative accounts. There is a likelihood that such inoperative accounts are used to aid the fraudsters and launderers since these accounts are already KYC compliant. Unless such inoperative accounts are separately categorized and audited, these would be used for dubious purposes with the collusion of officials.

Banking business ethics

Management institutes have reluctantly incorporated Business Ethics as a course for the MBA students. When it was an elective, there were no takers for this course as students thought that any credit received for that course would not increase their bargaining power (for higher pay) in the job market or during the campus placements. After witnessing thousands of scams all over the world, a course called Corporate Governance and Business Ethics has been introduced as a compulsory paper in management schools. But many banks are yet to give priority to teach their officer trainees lessons in ethics in marketing, finance and accounting. Obviously some managements don’t want their officials to be too much ethical when it comes to increasing the bank’s profits. Their definition of honesty is limited to protection of bank’s assets and their brand value and nothing more.

(This article is not intended to generalize the situation to all banks. There may be a few banks and their officials who are rule abiding, ethical and vigilant.)


       © Sibichen K Mathew                            Views are personal

Friday, February 26, 2016

Shaming JNU: Go beyond Kanhaiya and Umar – Views of an Alumnus



I am a proud JNU alumnus.

Let me give three disclaimers before I write what I want.

First: I don’t intend to support anyone who ‘by words or by signs or by visible representation, or otherwise, brings or attempts to bring into hatred or contempt, or excites or attempts to excite disaffection towards the Government established by law in India’.
Second: I don’t believe that every student enrolled in JNU and every human being found in the vast JNU campus is patriotic and not anti-national.
Third: I don’t wish to judge the rationale of law enforcement authorities. They may have their own reasons unknown to me. I have faith in the judicial system.

There are twin objectives for this article. One is to say that JNU is not what is projected in the media today. The other is to tell that all is not well with the student community in JNU in the recent years.

What is real JNU?

I am deeply pained at what I keep hearing about JNU in the last few weeks. What real JNU is? Is it just a few individuals who have been accused of anti-national activities? I thought of writing this after seeing the misplaced generalizations of not the media or of its viewers and readers about JNU, but of some of the brilliant people from the academia and bureaucracy.

I have studied in thirteen institutions in the country. But no institution has influenced and shaped me so much the way JNU did.

Train Number 2625, Kerala Express from Kottayam to New Delhi, used to carry not only my bag full of cut-mango pickles, dry coconut chutney and banana chips, but also a lot of dreams. I was privileged to get selected in this prestigious university after qualifying the UGC Research Fellowship examination, All India JNU Entrance Examination conducted across the country in all major cities and an equally tough interview by the best professors in the country in the chosen subject.

It was a very hot day in the month of July that I joined JNU. That was my second visit to the northern part of the country; first being at the time of interview. I stepped into the vast campus with a lot of apprehensions.   I didn’t get accommodation in the hostel initially for about three months. But, in JNU that was not an issue. There were hundreds of seniors, who irrespective of the course they were pursuing or region from which they were coming, were ready to accommodate the new students in their rooms. I met a Bihari gentleman who was pursuing MPhil in Life Sciences through a Keralite senior and he gave his room all to me for most days when he was on field work. When he stayed in the room I comfortably slept on the floor. Though I was in an unfamiliar environment (the weather, the diet, the language, the lifestyle etc.) it took me only a few days to assimilate well to the rich, diverse, and inclusive academic culture in JNU.

Room No. 123 E, Brahmaputra Hostel was allotted to me on my birthday and I wrote on the wall of my room the lines of Ralph Emerson: ‘Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm’. I realized that I need to jump out of the narrow and inward looking walls that separated Indians in the name of caste, language, region, religion and diet. Hundreds of posters on the walls across JNU campus were my first lessons on topics such as democracy, free thinking, dialogue, nationalism, patriotism and development. I started loving my country much more than before. For the first time I understood that I should think and act as an Indian and a global citizen, rather than basking on my primodial glories and ethnic sensitivities.

JNU gave me pleasant surprises unlike what I was used to. Teachers behaved as friends and lectures were meaningful conversations. Student could walk in anytime with a mug of coffee and join the discussions. None bothered about marking attendance. The learning was more substantive than procedural. I was amazed at the extent of academic expertise of the teachers on the subject. I was equally amazed at the sharp thoughts and their intelligent expressions of my classmates. Classroom sessions were just the beginning of learning and the discussion continued in the corridors, canteens and hostel rooms. 

JNU was vibrant in the nights. While we queued up to pick up our dishes for dinner, there would be a number of leaflets and cyclostyled handouts on various social, economic, political and international affairs kept on the table. We used to read all those materials while having our hot chapatis served on the table.  After dinner, intellectual discussions used to happen in the mess halls and at various locations in the campus on various national and international issues. As a student, I considered those events as great learning experiences rather than political brain washing. One is not coerced to follow even remotely any party, association or ideology or to subscribe to any views. There was space for every type of dissent, opinion and suggestion on the topics debated in the campus.  Mediocre and vulgar minds accuse JNU as the den of anti-nationals and the campus as a yard of liquor bottles, contraceptives and cigarette butts. Those who say that has not lived in JNU.

Dhabas in JNU campus are said to be the nocturnal hot spots of students who discussed and debated issues that mattered to the world over a cup of tea and samosa. It is an unwritten rule in JNU that those who receive fellowships and scholarships pay for the refreshments of those who do not have any funding to support their studies. JNU students were not just armchair theoreticians. There were many who worked with farmers and other disadvantaged communities during the semester breaks. In my role as the University Secretary of the National Service Scheme, I could gather several students to organize various social and charitable activities within and outside the campus.

I have learned the lessons in democracy and responsible citizenship not from my school or college text books. It was in JNU that I observed and got trained in conducting free and fair elections. The Jawaharlal Nehru University Students Union (JNUSU) elections are designed and executed in such a way that money does not play any role, but unique ideas can. The JNUSU election campaigning includes a night long Presidential debate just before the elections, similar in style to the one held during the presidential elections in the United States. The entire election process is managed by students.

All students associations, big or small, had equal rights and freedom to present their ideas and garner sympathizers. Festivals of all religions and ethnic groups were celebrated in hostels. Students from the North East regularly joined together for their prayer fellowships. Catholics had occasional Mass in the famous Parthasarathy Rock. During the entire Ramzan, special food was given in the mess before sunrise to all Muslim students who were fasting. Non-believers could speak their mind with their logic and rationality. Everyone learned from each other. None tried to suppress the views of the other.

Feathers in the cap

Following are some of the feathers in the cap of this great institution of excellence:

NAAC has accredited JNU with the award of Grade 'A' and CGPA of 3.91/4.00, the highest in the country.
It produces around 600 doctorate holders every year which is one of the highest in the country.
More than 80 per cent of JNU students get fellowships/ scholarships from various sources based on their merits and means.
There is an excellent teacher-student ratio of 1:10.
The campus is spread over 1000 acre and the beautiful greenery is maintained well.
There was no violence within the campus in its entire history
The University admits students through an entrance examination which can be taken at 70 Centres in various parts of the country and at one Centre outside India, i.e. Kathmandu, Nepal.
Its students are shouldering important responsibilities across the globe as social scientists, scientists, civil servants, literary critics, media experts, foreign language experts, journalists, political leaders, social activists, technologists, and entrepreneurs.

Following are some of the quotes of a few past students of JNU (given on earlier occasions)

“JNU most certainly provided me the best opportunity to participate in all sorts of debates and to think in a different way. I must say that JNUites do things differently, wherever they are and that's how they stand out.” Nirmala Sitharaman, BJP Leader and Hon Minister of state (Independent charge) for Commerce and Industry, Govt of India.
“On leaving JNU, the students confront the reality that there is no fraternity in citizenship and all the other ills of society, like the power of capital in politics. While some succumb to all this, JNU equips most to confront these challenges in a better fashion. I meet police officers, journalists and administrators from JNU who have carried forward the values they learnt here.”  Prakash Karat, (CPI(M) Leader and JNUSU President in 1973-74)
“The dining hall discourses, where everything from the Vietnam War to former Prime Minister Indira Gandhi was discussed, our professors had unconventional ways of teaching, they were passionate about making new minds, and they were not just there to teach in front of the blackboard and leave. Their sudden presence did not make you throw away your cigarette and they were politically active.” (Prof Anand Kumar, JNUSU President 1974-75)
“My initiation in public life, in fact my understanding of politics, dates back to my JNU days…. In JNU, I remember, those who spoke of caste were considered the most retrograde people.” (Yogendra Yadav, Former leader of AAP and noted Psephologist.)
“There are many changes taking place in the country and JNU cannot be removed from these but I still think that JNU is the best university in India and I am not saying this because I am from JNU. There are reasons for that, firstly it's a national university, It's a residential university; the teaching is direct and more practical rather than bookish, self study. (D P Tripathy, Member of Parliament)
Prominent JNUites include S Jayashankar, Foreign Secretary, Ali Zeidan, former Prime Minister of Libya, Aditya Jha, Canadian philanthropist, Ahmed bin Saif Al Nahyan, Founder and Chairman of Etihad Airlines, B Bhattarai, Prime Minister of Nepal, H R Khan,  former Deputy Governor of RBI, Amitabh Kant, Secretary to Govt of India, Arvind Gupta, Deputy National Security Advisor, Syed Asif Ibrahim, former Intelligence Bureau Chief, P Sainath, eminent journalist, Sitaram Yechury, Secretary General, CPI(M) and hundreds of bureaucrats, academicians and social activists.

The misusers and the deviants

Notwithstanding what I wrote above, let me share frankly a few plain truths. I am not here to vouch for all those who pursued or pursue courses in JNU as sincere learners and committed nationalists. There are three categories of misusers / deviants in JNU both then and now.

First category is the so called self- styled revolutionaries without a clear ideological lineage. There are a few pseudo radicals for whom state-bashing is a fashion and a passion. They spread seeds that harm the unity and integrity of the country. They hide within all the organizations in the university without exception. It could be within the ‘right’, the ‘left’, the ‘center’ or in the ‘extreme’ organization.

Second category is those who are not interested in completing the courses and dissertations on time. They waste the valuable resources provided to them, seek extensions to complete the courses, overstay in the hostels and that hamper fresh enrollments.

Third category is the ones who ignore the academic course work and dissertations totally in the name of preparations for the civil services and lose focus on both. They end up in depression when they don’t get to any career because of sheer laziness or avoidable diversions.

Regain the fame of JNU

“A university stands for humanism, for tolerance, for reason, for the adventure of ideas and for the search of truth. It stands for the onward march of the human race towards ever higher objectives. If the universities discharge their duties adequately, then it is well with the Nation and the People” (Jawaharlal Nehru)
In order to fulfill above mission and vision, it is necessary to extend the ideological debates in the campus to actionable proposals with a spirit of collaboration than conflict. The first step in this is to be committed in their studies and utilize the resources given to them for productive purposes. Hollow ideologies can get instant applauses but they can’t bring long term solutions for the masses. Apart from ideological battles, let JNU students invent and design solutions through systematic studies and research in order to alleviate the miseries of the people and to bring in peace and prosperity within and outside the country. For this, apart from sloganeering, a little bit of empathy, a lot more social intelligence and commitment to studies are necessary!


        © Sibichen K Mathew      Views are personal

Saturday, February 13, 2016

Sexual abuses, Bosses and the Bathsheba syndrome

King David is a character depicted in the Old Testament of Bible. He was an ordinary shepherd who successfully confronted the nine-foot, bronze armoured Philistine giant Goliath with a sling and a few stones. He became the king of Israel by defeating exploiters and enemies of the people of the nation. He was a very efficient administrator and was committed to delivering justice to his people. It is written that he was also a man of integrity. However, one single act of succumbing to his lust resulted in his downfall.

While his men were at war, he spied a beautiful woman, Bathsheba, from his rooftop. Though he found that she was married to one of his army men, he forced her to be in a relationship with him. He sent her husband to the front lines of battle where he got killed. David then married Bathsheba and was severely rebuked by the Prophet Nathan who said, ‘sword will never depart from thine house’. David cried to God for the rest of his life in repentance: ‘For I acknowledge my transgressions, and my sin is always before me. Against You, You only, have I sinned. And done this evil in Your sight’.
Incidents of abuses

There are many bosses who would like to have female companions. Some of them even invest in expensive houses to maintain absolute privacy when they are with such friends. DL, who used to host a popular late night show, had to apologise publicly after news of his affairs with female staff members came out. In an interview with Oprah Winfrey he said, ‘I hurt a lot of people. I have nobody to blame but myself. I am looking to find out why I behaved the way I behaved.’

Bhavya, a senior level executive in a large IT company said, ‘I had to leave my first job due to sexual harassment - not by one guy, but by multiple bosses. Another lady and I were the first women sales employees in the company, employed by management to deal with the activities of the union in the sales department. So the union guys decided to drive us off or make us conform by harassing us wherever we went. My immediate boss purposely gave me evening jobs so that he could accompany me and say uncomfortable things. But I couldn't speak up. I quit the job finally.’


Jacinta, who worked in a company at UAE, shared an incident: ‘One of my colleagues, who is Lebanese, was reporting to our HR director; she was his executive secretary. Every day he would call her for closed-door meetings inside his cabin. Initially the relationship was healthy; he would say that he was like a father to her. Over time however, he started commenting about her looks and dresses and passing vulgar comments. He also started sending her obscene texts. One day, during a meeting, she switched on the recording system in her mobile and recorded the conversation. With this, she escalated the matter to the CEO of the company. But the outcome was totally unexpected. She was the one dismissed from service. She went to the labour court and the police arrested the HR director. Finally, the matter was settled outside court and the HR director had to pay huge compensation to the employee.’

The President and CEO of a multinational company that provided full-spectrum consulting, technology and business process outsourcing was shown the door after an investigation by a counsel engaged by the Board, where they found that he had a relationship with a subordinate  employee; there was also an allegation of sexual harassment. He had demonstrated outstanding leadership skills during his 10-year tenure. In a media release, the company admitted that he worked hard to establish the company as a leader in the IT industry. The gentleman had earlier headed the global operations of another IT giant till he was asked to quit on allegations of sexual harassment there as well. He was widely credited for his crucial contribution in making the company achieve a turnover of over 700 million dollars from a meagre 2 million dollars, all within a few years. The company had to pay the employee a whopping 3 million dollars in an out-of-court settlement.

There are several such incidents reported about successful leaders. The Director General and CEO of an International agency with a 1.2 million membership had to resign on an allegation that he sexually abused a child more than thirty years ago. He was a person with excellent leadership skills and led the organization very efficiently for several years. In another case, an organization accused the head of a premier intelligence agency in one country, stating that he was in the habit of hiring a prostitute every three days.

A former minister of railways in a country was accused by the government of taking favours in the form of women, including actors, for sanctioning contracts for high speed rail projects and transportation of coal. The heads of some international regulatory and funding organizations have also faced allegations of sexual misconduct and have had to resign pending an investigation into the allegations. After a hotel maid accused the head of an international financial institution of sexual assault, it took months to get the charges cleared, and even then he struggled to regain his image. Though some people tend to forgive leaders’ sexual transgressions, such incidents usually devastate their career at least for a few years.

BD, the CEO of a multinational retail company, had to resign because the company found that he had an inappropriate relationship with a female employee. In another incident, after 31 trainees complained about the sexual misconduct of GP, an efficient Air Forces Colonel, he was relieved of his duties.  Recent incident is the accusation against RKP, a very senior scientist of a prestigious energy research institute.

Why only the powerful and successful people are accused?

All incidents reported may not be truly cases of sexual harassment. Many leaders at the pinnacle of success have been brought down because of charges of sexual misconduct. In most cases, allegations are aimed at making such persons give up their grip on the organization. Efficient and disciplined bosses have often had to leave organizations simply because of suspicion, even when such allegations are not proved. There are many incidents were women use such accusation as a ploy to corner a tough boss.

Power corrupts senses too

There are two factors common in the above cases: all the accused were in powerful positions and were successful leaders who had turned around their respective organizations. No organization would have liked to terminate them. Power and success can thus make people overconfident about their acceptance in the organization. In an excellent analytical article in the Journal of Business Ethics way back in 1993, Ludwig and Longenecker  pointed out how successful people fail ethically at some point. They said that success makes managers complacent and lose focus.

With large teams and resources at their disposal, they may begin to have a tendency to indulge in excesses. Further, people who depend on them become vulnerable to their actions. Also, in spite of their strong position as superiors, they may become weak before attractive women in the team. But success and power do not intoxicate a person who is emotionally mature, ethically conscious, socially responsive and morally strong. There is a need to draw lessons from the experiences of people who are fallen from grace due to avoidable aberrations.

  © Sibichen K Mathew.   Views are personal. Some incidents illustrated here are sub judice and hence not aimed at passing a judgment against the persons involved.


 (Above content is partly based on a chapter on the subject written by author in his book ‘When the Boss is Wrong: The Making and Unmaking of the Leader within You’’. Read the book published by Rupa Publishers to know about more interesting stories on ‘Bosses and the Bathsheba Syndrome’. Available in your nearest books store or Amazon or Flipkart)

Friday, February 5, 2016

നോവ്

                                                            കഥ

പ്രിയപെട്ട സുഹൃത്തേ

ഞാന്‍ വീണ്ടും ഒരു കഥ എഴുതാമെന്ന് വിചാരിച്ചു. അതെ, വളരെ നാളുകള്‍ക്കു ശേഷം. നീയാണല്ലോ എന്‍റെ എല്ലാ കഥകളുടെയും ആദ്യ വായനക്കാരി. ഞാന്‍ ഓര്‍ക്കുന്നു. വായിച്ചതിനു ശേഷമുള്ള നിന്‍റെ നീണ്ട മൌനം. നിന്നെ ഞാന്‍ എപ്പോഴൊക്കെ വെറുത്തിട്ടുണ്ടോ അതെല്ലാം എന്‍റെ കൈയെഴുത്തു പ്രതിയും വച്ച് എന്‍റെ ക്ഷമ നീ പരീക്ഷിച്ച നിമിഷങ്ങളിലാണ്. നിന്നെക്കുറിച്ചാകട്ടേ ഈ കഥ?

ഒരു കഥയെഴുതുവാനുള്ള മൂഡ്‌ എങ്ങനെയെനിക്ക് ഇപ്പോള്‍ ഉണ്ടായി എന്നു നീ അദ്ഭുതപ്പെടുന്നുണ്ടാവും. മൂഡിന്‍റെ പേരുപറഞ്ഞ് പൂര്‍ത്തിയാക്കാതെ വലിച്ചെറിഞ്ഞ എന്‍റെ കഥകള്‍ കണ്ടിട്ട് എന്നോട് ‘ഗെറ്റ് ലോസ്റ്റ്‌’ എന്നു പറഞ്ഞ നീ ഇപ്പോള്‍ വിചാരിക്കുന്നുണ്ടാവും ഞാന്‍  ഇതാ വേറൊരു കുറ്റകൃത്യത്തിനു മുതിരുന്നു എന്ന്‍. നിന്‍റെ വാക്കുകള്‍ ഞാന്‍ മറന്നിട്ടില്ല: ‘നല്ല ഒരു കഥ പാതി വഴിക്ക് വലിച്ചെറിയുന്ന നീയും, ഗര്‍ഭചിദ്രം ചെയ്യുന്ന സ്ത്രീയും തമ്മില്‍ എന്താ വിത്യാസം?’ എനിക്ക്  ഒരിക്കലും ദഹിക്കാത്ത നിന്‍റെ അതിശയോക്തി കലര്‍ന്ന ക്രൂരമായ താരാതമ്യം!

ഈ കഥ എന്‍റെ പഴയ കഥകളില്‍നിന്നും വേറിട്ട വഴിയിലുള്ളതാണ്. എന്‍റെ മനസിന്‍റെ അഗാധതലങ്ങളിലെവിടെയോ നിര്‍ജീവമായികിടന്ന ഏതാനും ഓര്‍മശകലങ്ങളില്‍ ചാലിച്ച കഥയാണിത്. ആദ്യമേതന്നെ വൈരുദ്ധ്യം കടന്നുകൂടിയതായി നീ ഇപ്പോള്‍ വിമര്‍ശിക്കുന്നുണ്ടാവും. നിന്നെ കുറിച്ചുള്ള കഥയില്‍ എങ്ങനെ എന്‍റെ ഓര്‍മ്മകള്‍ക്ക് പ്രസക്തിയല്ലേ? നിന്‍റെ പാട്ടുകളെക്കുറിച്ച് ഞാനും എന്‍റെ കഥകളെകുറിച്ചും നീയും ഓര്‍ക്കുകയും സംസാരിക്കുകയും വിമര്‍ശിക്കുകയും ചെയ്തിരുന്നെങ്കിലും നമ്മുക്ക് രണ്ടുപേര്‍ക്കും തമ്മില്‍ വലിയ ഒരു അപരിചിതത്വം ഉണ്ടായിരുന്നു.

Another fatal infection in your backyard:Scrub Typhus! Beware!

My family and me spent a few days during our Christmas-New Year holidays at my in-laws’ house. It was a happy time as we celebrated their wedding anniversary and the birthday of Father-in-law (Daddy). Just a day before we left, Daddy complained of slight fever. As per the physician’s advice, he took paracetamol for a few days. Since the fever was not coming down, paracetamol was given as I.V.  The blood test was repeated to verify attack of any virus and nothing adverse was noticed.
We constantly enquired over phone as we lived in a different city. Temperature became normal for two days and then again went up. He was admitted to a nearby hospital and mild fever continued for a few days more and doctors there had no clue about the disease. They said, it could be a urinary infection and started giving medicines for that. They also put him in ICU to check his cardiac status as his BP shot up. As they found the ECG and Echo normal, they told mummy that the fever will go once the urinary infection is reduced.

Meanwhile my wife took the night bus and reached the hospital in the early morning and found Daddy almost collapsed in his bed, unable to move or speak. The transition to this stage was in a matter of a few hours. Till the previous night he was moderately active and was speaking to everyone. My wife who is also a doctor asked the physician of the hospital about the status of the patient. He said, ‘he is suffering from dementia’. My wife did not believe the physician’s story of urinary infection and dementia and told him so. She said she is taking him out of the hospital to get him readmitted in a better hospital. The physician didn’t like someone questioning his theory and angrily disappeared from the scene.

Daddy was rushed in an ambulance to a nearby multi speciality hospital (SUT Hospital). By that time his kidneys and other internal organs had malfunctioned. It did not take more than a few minutes for the physician Dr Dhanya to zero in on the most probable infection: Scrub Typhus. She immediately started the appropriate antibiotic without waiting for the blood results which confirmed the disease after 24 hours. Daddy was put under life support in the ICU.

What is Scrub Typhus?
We need to be aware and beware of this as it is fast spreading all around.
Let me summarize below what WHO tells about the infection:
Scrub typhus is an acute, febrile, infectious illness that is caused by Orientia (formerly Rickettsia) sutsugamushi. It is also known as tsutsugamushi disease.
How it is transmitted?
Scrub typhus is transmitted to humans and rodents by some species of trombiculid mites (“chiggers”, Leptotrombidium deliense and others). The mite is very small (0.2 – 0.4mm) and can only be seen through a microscope or magnifying glass. Humans acquire the disease from the bite of an infected chigger. The bite of the mite leaves a characteristic black eschar that is useful to the doctor for making the diagnosis.
 In India
Scrub typhus is prevalent in many parts of India but specific data are not available. There have been outbreaks in areas located in the sub-Himalayan belt, from Jammu to Nagaland. There were reports of scrub typhus outbreaks in Himanchal Pradesh, Sikkim and Darjeeling (West Bengal) during 2003-2004 and 2007. Outbreaks of scrub typhus are reported in southern India during the cooler months of the year. Scrub typhus is a reemerging infectious disease in India. It occurs more frequently during the rainy season. However, outbreaks have been reported during the cooler season in southern India. Certain areas such as forest clearings, riverbanks, and grassy regions provide optimal conditions for the infected mites to thrive.
What are the clinical symptoms of Scrub Typhus?
The chigger bite is painless and may become noticed as a transient localized itch. Bites are often found on the groin, axillae, genetalia or neck . An eschar is often seen in humans at the site of the chigger bite. The illness begins rather suddenly with shaking chills, fever, severe headache, infection of the mucous membrane lining the eyes (the conjunctiva), and swelling of the lymph nodes. A spotted rash on the trunk may be present. Symptoms may include muscle and gastrointestinal pains. More virulent strains of O. tsutsugamushi can cause haemorrhaging and intravascular coagulation. Complications may include atypical pneumonia, overwhelming pneumonia with adult respiratory distress syndrome (ARDS)–like presentation, myocarditis, and disseminated intravascular coagulation (DIC). Patients with scrub typhus often exhibit leucopenia.
Image: Medscape.com
How to differentiate scrub typhus from other diseases?
Differentiating scrub typhus from other forms of typhus as well as from fever, typhoid and meningococcal infections is often difficult during the first several days before the Scrub Typhus initial rash appears. The most common signs are similar to a variety of other infectious diseases (typhoid fever, murine typhus, leptospirosis and dengue fever, etc.) which should be taken into consideration. The geographical location of scrub typhus, the initial sore caused by the chigger bite, and the occurrence of specific proteins capable of destroying the organism (antibodies) in the blood, provide helpful clues and are useful in establishing the diagnosis.
What diagnostic tests are available for confirmatory diagnosis of scrub typhus?
The diagnosis may be confirmed by a laboratory test such as serology. The cheapest and most easily available serological test is the Weil-Felix test, but this is notoriously unreliable. Fifty per cent of patients have a positive test result during the second week. This test is now being replaced by a complement-fixation test. It is a serological test to detect specific antibody or specific antigen in a patient’s serum
What is the effective treatment against scrub typhus?
Scrub typhus is treated with antibiotics. The drug most commonly used is doxycycline; but chloramphenicol is an alternative.
How to prevent it?
It has been shown that a single oral dose of chloramphenicol or tetracycline given every five days for a total of 35 days, with 5-day non-treatment intervals, actually produces active immunity to scrub typhus. There are no effective vaccines for scrub typhus.
In endemic areas, precautions include wearing protective clothing. Insect repellents containing dibutyl phthalate, benzyl benzoate, diethyl toluamide, and other substances can be applied to the skin and clothing to prevent chigger bites. Do not sit or lie on bare ground or grass; use a suitable ground sheet or other ground cover. Clearing of vegetation and chemical treatment of the soil may help to break up the cycle of transmission from chiggers to humans to other chiggers.
Measures to prevent the infection
The early diagnosis of acute scrub typhus can greatly reduce the chance of life threatening complications and guide optimal therapy. Awareness and education activities should be targeted at schoolchildren, teachers and women groups in endemic areas. Involvement of community-based organizations in prevention and control of scrub typhus is important.
Rodent control is a multidimensional activity that requires multisectoral cooperation. Different control strategies such as trapping, poisoning and use of natural predators are in practice. Allowing weeds to grow around buildings also encourages rats and mice. Good sanitation in and around buildings creates an environment that is less suited for rodent populations. Proper sanitation may not eliminate rat populations but often can prevent them from flourishing in high numbers. Repeated increase in rodent population even after the use of poisons is a good indication that habitat modification is needed.
 (Source for information http://www.searo.who.int/entity/emerging_diseases/CDS_faq_Scrub_Typhus.pdf)

Daddy recovered

The late diagnosis had resulted in the failure of internal organs. With systematic treatment and repeated dialysis, he could be revived. He had to be in the hospital for about two weeks. Though he is back home, it will take a few months for him to recover fully to good health.

A few points to note!

Never delay a blood test if the fever continues for more than three days.

Make sure that the patient’s tests are done in a reputed Lab with all facilities.

Don’t think of saving money by going to a small hospital with inadequate facilities. It will be fatal! It was a big mistake that Daddy insisted on getting admitted to a small hospital (advertised by them as speciality hospital) where there were no proper medical assistance.

Never completely trust your medical insurance company! They will promise to give you money and will vanish at the time of billing!


                 © Sibichen K Mathew

Thursday, January 28, 2016

Where are the footpaths and the safe crossings in Bangalore city?



When my friend Raj Kumar invited me to go with him for a coffee at a popular joint a few kilometers away, I said ‘Yes’, but on a condition that we would walk rather than taking the car. Then he asked me a very pertinent question: “ Where is the footpath?” I didn’t have an answer.

Urban infrastructure in India, especially in cities like Bangalore, is pathetic. It is a well-known fact. But most deplorable is the pedestrian unfriendly (anti-pedestrian , is a better word) policies and projects . There is no place for pedestrians to walk on the main roads. It is almost impossible to cross the roads. Many times, one has to walk kilometers to find a pedestrian crossing or a safe place to cross the road. I have experienced this on the busy roads where I had to wait for more than half an hour to cross even at the zebra crossing. It points to a traffic management that is insensitive to the pedestrians.  

Following photos are of the footpath of a  prominent road in Bangalore city. 







Pedestrians are forced to walk on the road as the foot paths are obstructed. Slabs in foot paths are broken at many places with dangerously open manholes that are not visible at nights. There are no adequate street lights.  Many ride their two-wheelers on the footpaths. 14590 cases of foot path riding have been registered by the Bangalore Traffic Police in 2014 alone.

Pedestrians cross the road because there are no convenient zebra crossings, subways or footbridges.  But it is very interesting to see that many jay walkers were booked under The Karnataka Traffic Control Act (1960) and levied fine after producing before a magistrate. It is reported that over 2200 persons have been penalized by the Bangalore city traffic police in the last six months for walking on the road or crossing at medians. Traffic police cannot be blamed for this action as jaywalking is dangerous. However, many times pedestrians cross the roads not for their convenience but because there is no other alternative.

According to a release by the Bangalore Traffic Police, ‘In India, nearly 5 lakh cases of accident are reported and nearly 1.5 lakh people lose their lives in road traffic accidents and nearly 5-6 lakh people become permanently disabled. In Karnataka, nearly 10,000 people die due to road traffic accidents and in Bengaluru City more than 700 people are being killed in road crashes. No contagious diseases, nor Tsunami or any other natural disaster is known to take the death toll to this extent.’

There is a saying in Malayalam that ‘one who sits on an elephant doesn’t know about walking down on the road’. This is what has happened literally in the sphere of pedestrian service. For a change, those who are in charge of governance should walk on the main roads during peak hours and experience the hardship faced by the pedestrians. That could prompt them to focus on pedestrian-friendly urban road projects.


        © Sibichen K Mathew                        Views are personal

Wednesday, January 27, 2016

Air lifting my uncles: Good theme; But with minor flaws


My mother’s brothers built their fortune in Kuwait. Both of them had respectable government jobs back in Kerala. One worked at the Inspector General’s Office and the other with the State Public Service Commission. As the salary was not sufficient to lead a decent life, they went to Kuwait after taking long leave from the Government. Every visit of theirs from Kuwait was celebrated by all relatives and friends as they brought several bags full of goodies. It was feast every day at home till the day they left after their holidays. Every dinar earned was spent for the happiness of the near and dear ones and they boarded the flight back to Kuwait to earn more. For most Keralites, gulf countries were like 'land of Canaan where milk and honey flow’. 

Their dreams shattered on 2nd August 1990 as Iraqi forces stormed the streets of Kuwait under the leadership of Saddam Hussain. The lives of about 1,80,000 Indians were under threat and  future looked bleak for them. They lived in uncertainty, insecurity and hardship since the day Saddam declared Kuwait as the 19th province of Iraq. Their relatives in India were worried and prayed for them. Only one thing made them strong in spite of all difficulties: The mutual care and support of all Indians. Mr Mathew, Chairman of a large company was one of the few Indians who coordinated the evacuation efforts with the Indian government after overseeing their transport by road to Amman. He was the last Indian to leave Kuwait after 487 Air India flights carried the stranded Indians in a span of 59 days.  My uncles also arrived leaving everything there: bank balances, household goods, cars and their funds with the employer.

Raja Krishna Menon, directed the movie ‘Air Lift’ (released on 22nd January, 2016) after preparing the basic script with the help of three others after researching the events during the invasion of Kuwait and after a series of interactions with people who witnessed the events. Akshay Kumar played the role of Ranjit Katyal, the Indian businessman who volunteered to coordinate the evacuation efforts. The story is about the challenges faced by him in his mission. Apart from the obstacles created by the Iraqi Major, he had tough time convincing his company employees, Indians gathered at his office seeking help and also his own wife about his strategies to get out of the violence stricken Kuwait city. Undoubtedly, the theme is exciting for the lovers of patriotic films and the movie is an engrossing one for most viewers.



When a real incident is converted into a movie, the most important challenge would be how to make it a thriller, an entertaining stuff or one that discloses a secret hitherto unknown to many. The movie doesn’t provide any of these. Unlike what is usually done by directors in similar genre, the director didn’t indulge in exaggeration, lie, or introduction of a sub-story to please the viewers. But in order to gratify the commercial interests, he inserted songs at inappropriate junctures. He could have done away with songs and dances, except in the period before the invasion. Another challenge of a movie based on real incidents is not to omit any vital ingredient while plotting it as a story. Since, many who witnessed and experienced the happenings are still alive, the movie would be subjected to a critical appraisal by them if there are major deviations.

Apart from narrating the bureaucratic and political bottlenecks at the level of the Indian government, ministry of external affairs, and the embassies, it would have been more interesting if the movie had focused on the decision making challenges at the diplomatic levels. The movie tried to project that the issue was not of any concern for the government or for the foreign minister, which is not fully true. The movie seems to give the credit for one of the largest evacuations by a single country of its people to a single Indian businessman (the character Ranjit Katyal) rather than giving the Indian government its due.

K.P. Fabian, former Ambassador of India, who was head of the Gulf Division of the Ministry of External Affairs when the Iraqi forces invaded Kuwait, coordinated the repatriation of over 176,000 Indians. For an oral history project of Indian Foreign Affairs Journal, he narrated the events very clearly. Following excerpts would throw light on the role played by the Indian government:

‘Immediately after I received first intimation of the event, I rang up my immediate boss Additional Secretary (Political)) I.P. Khosla, Foreign Secretary Muchkund Dubey, and Foreign Minister I.K. Gujral. The immediate next step was to draft a statement conveying our views and apprehensions. Uppermost in our mind at that moment was the plight of our people. In that statement, we called upon Iraq to withdraw. Iraq’s action of invading a sovereign state was definitely a violation of international law. …We decided to urgently arrange repatriation of our nationals. Additional Secretary I.P. Khosla and Minister I.K. Gujral went to Amman from Europe, where they were visiting, and I joined them there from Delhi. I flew by an Indian Air Force aircraft (IL 76) with some communication equipment. Minister Gujral met Saddam personally. At the place where the Indian community had assembled, there was no stage or podium or even a raised platform. So Minister Gujral stepped onto a chair and climbed onto the bonnet of a jeep! The assemblage was really angry, and remained hostile even after he started to speak. But in less than three minutes Minister Gujral made them shout “Bharat Mata Ki Jai” (Victory to Mother India). This was indeed a remarkable feat, not fully recognized by the media or the general public. We decided that the only way to get our people out was through airlift. A very small number of people did come back by boats and other means. To arrange all this, a Cabinet Sub-Committee was formed, consisting of representatives of External Affairs, Civil Aviation, Finance and Defence Ministries. Minister Gujral chaired it. Normally, a Cabinet Sub-committee is serviced by the Cabinet Secretariat. T.N.R. Rao, Additional Secretary in the Cabinet Secretariat, was very cooperative and I, as Joint Secretary in the Gulf Division of the MEA, started preparing the agenda and the minutes, of course with Minister Gujral’s approval. I.P. Khosla supervised. The Cabinet Secretariat was fully kept in the picture. We did not have to go through the normal time-consuming channels and it did help. The important thing was that thanks to the excellent rapport between the MEA and Civil Aviation Ministry, we did not waste time in routine writing of notes. For example, if there was a message from our Embassy in Amman that there were four thousand evacuees, all that I had to do was to make a call to the Secretary or the Joint Secretary concerned in the Civil Aviation Ministry. I could be sure that the necessary number of planes would leave in hours. The Secretary, Civil Aviation, Mr. Ganesan, deserves our thanks for his speedy reaction to our various requests.’ (ORAL HISTORY: Biggest Ever Air Evacuation in History, Indian Foreign Affairs Journal Vol. 7, No. 1, January-March, 2011, 93-107)
The above facts give a different picture about the actual scenario which was quite different from what was projected in the movie.

While the performance of Akshay Kumar is commendable, there is nothing great as far as other actors are concerned. In fact, performance of the Iraqi Major and some of the key employees of company looked amateurish. In a movie showcasing a war and related trauma, there is enough scope for good cinematography and creative editing. This has not been properly utilized. Emotions are not presented and captured in a manner that can impress the viewers.

With all these flaws, this movie is a one-time watch because of the relevance of the theme. An ordinary Indian living in India cannot imagine the trauma of a person who is stranded in a politically unstable and war-torn alien country.  He may not know how in such situations people react, governments respond and relationships mend or break. Therefore, apart from the patriotic spirit the movie possibly invoke, it would also give an insight to the larger sociological context in which migrant populations live and cope up across the world.  

Epilogue
My uncles, though very disappointed as they arrived back in India leaving their job and possessions in Kuwait, decided to join back in their jobs in the state government. Meanwhile the news of the withdrawal of Iraqi forces reached and they got ready to leave to their Canaan land. They went back, lived there for many years, and earned so much to fulfil their dreams to become a respectable, affluent gulf returnee in the God’s own country to live in peace and self-respect. In the end, US had the last laugh!
                                                               © Sibichen K Mathew.   Views are personal.

Wednesday, January 6, 2016

The one who doesn’t mind: The suffering of the understanding



“She relishes the burnt toast. Give it to her!’

How many of you feel that the understanding people always get a raw deal? If you do, your perception is not untrue. 

Are you such an understanding person?

You are very 'adjusting' to every situation. That is the perception of others about you.  Therefore it is likely that the other guy who is very rigid in his preferences would get priority over you.  You make the life of ‘others’ as well as the 'rigid' person a lot happier.  So,  when you are asked to wait for a longer time than you are required to or when you get settled in a less comfortable position than what you are entitled to, for the sake of that 'un-adjusting' person,  you stay contented wherever you are!


Image: Freestockphotos.biz.


Don't you feel that everyone deserves to be treated equally irrespective of the fact that one is demanding, sensitive, cynical, or smart? Is there any limit to being understanding?

Do you know what is squeezed to the hilt when we travel? The hand baggage we carry! And what suffers the most? The zip of our bag!  We try to squeeze everything inside and still the zip helplessly cooperates with us to close it.  After that, we still find a few things outside.  We test the strength of the zip again and almost damage the bag while doing that.  This is exactly what we do with those understanding ones. We exploit them to the maximum extent possible. 

It is written that, ‘Never test good people. They are like mercury. They will not break when hit. They will just disappear from your life silently'. We can make a relation bend to our advantage and can be proud to be a smart winner.  But we need to be aware that there is a remote or imminent possibility of a break in the relationship if we have tested the patience of the gentle soul beyond its level of tolerance.

This happens in every domain of life. However this is most conspicuous in career settings. (I have written about this in my book 'When the Boss is Wrong')

So, what is the message? To continue to sacrifice even when you are exploited or to stop taking any extra burden if you think that you are being unduly exploited?

To get an answer to this, you need to ask a question to yourself.  Why did you become a sacrificial goat many times?  Was it forced on you by someone? Or was it because of situational compulsions? You need to get away from those individuals and try to wriggle out of such unjust situations at the earliest opportunity.  You don't deserve to be slaughtered on a regular basis. You need not be the only one who deserves to be given a banana with dark patches or a burnt toast when others insist for the perfect ones.

If you voluntarily step in or step out of a situation to mitigate a problem faced by someone and  that someone is unwilling or incapable of doing something which he or she is supposed to do,  you may do it for a few times and not as a matter of practice. But if you find happiness every time you sacrifice for others even when you know that you are exploited, go ahead and continue to do that.  However you are instrumental in making such parasites and exploiters thrive.  This is not desirable if one aspires to see a just society.  Even if you don't mind being unduly exploited, it is your duty to leave their yoke to themselves if they have the potential to be capable to shoulder it.

Truly, the world is still a beautiful place because of the sacrifices of a cross section of individuals and groups who do it willingly, happily and sincerely.  They spread the message to others that one can still be happy while shouldering an extra load.  The exploiters too read the message and enthusiastically forward it to others without parking it in their life even for a moment.  "Yes, sacrifice and sermons are good for others now and for me, may be later."

One could glorify suffering to find solace in a state of perceived deprivation or exploitation. This glorification is based on moral or philosophical grounds rather than rational or utilitarian perspective. However human behaviour is substantially influenced by rational impulses and expectations. Therefore, many of those ‘sufferers’, whether it is voluntary or involuntary, will end up cribbing quietly, unless they have the innate power or the spirit of the divine.


                                                © Sibichen K Mathew

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