Suicide of Salomi and a few questions to ourselves

It was Sunday, July 4, 2010. After the morning mass in the Nirmala Matha Church, Prof T J Joseph was driving home in his car along with his aged mother Elikutti, wife Salomi, sister Mary Stella and children Ami and Mithun. A group of people stopped their car and dragged Joseph out and chopped his right hand and threw the palm to the nearby field.

Google image

The ‘crime’ attributed to T J Joseph was this: He took a portion of a Screen Play written by a well known writer P T Kunhumuhammed, titled ‘Thirakkatha: Oru Viswasiyude Kandethal’ meaning ‘ Screen Play: Finding of a believer’ to prepare a question paper. The extract was from an approved book for the students by the University titled ‘Thirakathakalude Samaaharam’ (A collection of screenplays) edited by Binu Kumar and published by Kerala State Language Institute. The sentences extracted by Joseph from the story by Kunhumuhammed for a punctuation exercise in the Malayalam Question paper were as follows: (English translation is given below)

‘Protagonist: God, God

God:   What is it you son of a bitch?

Protagonist: How many pieces will we get if we cut one mackerel (a type of fish common in India)

God: Dog, I have told you so many times that there will be three pieces’

The question paper was to a class of about 32 students of second year B Com for an internal assessment examination for Malayalam language paper in his college. The mistake he committed was to put the name ‘Mohammed’ in place of the Protagonist. Joseph might be referring to the name of the author himself (the name of the author contains the word ‘Mohammed’). It was also a fact that the name Mohammed was very common in that locality where there are thousands of people with that name. But use of the word ‘Mohammed’ irked a few persons in the locality as they believed that the professor is blaspheming the prophet Mohammed. The incident led to the arrest of Joseph, violent attack on him by a few people, his suspension from the college, and arrests of those who were behind the attack on Joseph. Though many condemned the incident, a few of them thought that Professor should have the foresight and should have been a bit more careful while inserting the name in the question paper which could be misinterpreted.

Suicide of Salomi

49 year old Salomi, wife of Prof T J Joseph was found hanging in the bathroom of their house on March 19, 2014. After continuous suffering from physical, emotional, financial and legal trauma, Salomi chose to die possibly out of sheer frustration. Her husband was not taken back to the post by the college management even after a clear verdict of the local court. The management did not even give a clear promise to take him back and give him all the retirement benefits. It is said that the family had to spend huge sum for his treatment. They were pinning hopes on the financial benefits he was entitled to get from the college after being a lecturer in various colleges under the university for more than 30 years. Even his request for withdrawal from the Provident Fund was not processed. They needed funds for the marriage of his daughter. They didn't have money to support their son’s studies who was preparing for the Civil Services Examination. Salomi struggled to provide meals for the family.

Photo: Mathrubhumi

As there was no favourable decision from the college to take back Joseph (who was due to retire in a few days), Salomi was shattered totally. She found only one way to save the family from the financial strains. If her death can make the authorities a little compassionate, that could save her family. She hanged herself not in protest against the authorities but to make them open their eyes to their suffering. Indeed, her death made authorities to have a re-look at the issue and reinstated Prof T J Joseph on the last working day of his service so that he will get all retirement benefits and provident fund. 

The questions to ourselves

Salomi was undergoing intense emotional struggle within herself because of the sufferings the family faced for the past several months. She felt that there was no hope for recovery. She also thought that her husband can never get justice. Yes, there was an inordinate delay in getting the justice that Prof Joseph deserved. But due to procedural complexities, legal bottlenecks and attitudinal rigidities, the authorities did not act promptly. However, none told Salomi that there is hope as the authorities can’t delay the justice for ever. There were none to counsel and give emotional support to Salomi when she was anxious and felt that there was no solution?

This is a clear case of apathy of people around her. There is lack of proper social support from the near and dear ones to understand the emotional status of Salomi. She would not have taken such an extreme step had there was someone who took care to listen to her grief and tried to console her.

Where were those church organizations? Where were the women’s associations, prayer groups, counselors, Rev Sisters? This is a failure of the people around Salomi, who could not provide her the necessary emotional support when she was passing through a tough stage in her life. One could see a convent or church in every nook in the district where Salomi stayed. There are hundreds of voluntary organizations, counselling centers, women self-help groups and retreat centers in and around the locality. Forget about organizations, one good friend could have prevented Salomi from taking such extreme steps by being in touch with her much more closely to instill in her fresh hopes to live for the family.

Such incidents as reported above are results of artificial social networks in the society. When we have thousands of friends in our Facebook accounts, there would be hardly anyone who is ready to listen to us at the time of need. People prefer to be away from us and happy to ‘like’ us and ‘share’  from a distance. It is estimated that about 15 suicides take place every hour in India. As per the statistics of National Crime Records Bureau there is steady increase in the number of incidents of suicide in the country in the last few years. According to World Health Organization, one suicide happens every 40 seconds in the world.

Having dependable friends for frank communication, involvement in social activities, facilities for counselling, family meets, meditation and prayer could ease out the stress and depression to a greater extent. It is the duty of each one of us, as responsible members of the society, to identify the people who are depressed and disappointed, to lend our ears to those who hate to live in this world and to bring them back to life with hope and courage.

Read below stories of people who have committed suicide because of lack of proper emotional support and counselling:

 If anybody wants to see us, you have to break open the door This was the note written and pasted on the door of their house in Bangalore city by a mother and her son. Read

Suicide of the skinny boy. I was shocked to read the following news item in the paper the other day titled ‘Taunted, ‘skinny’ boy kills self’.  Read

(Views are personal) 

                                                                                  Sibichen K Mathew

“If anybody wants to see us, you have to break open the door”!

    This was the note written and pasted on the door of their house in Bangalore city by a mother and her son. Don’t think that they pasted the above note and went out. Their lifeless bodies were very much inside. Police and neighbours found a sixty five year old mother and her thirty two year old son hanging from a ceiling fan. The son was an Engineer in a private company.

    Police found a four page suicide note in the shirt pocket of the son, Sreenivasan. It was written legibly in English that they took this step because they could not bear the loss of the elder son of the family, who died a few days before due to cardiac arrest. He wrote: ‘My brother, Kumaresan  was our hope, strength, love and everything for us’.

   Kumaresan was a government employee (Office of the Accountant General) and all the three of them were staying in the quarters of the Central Public Works Department. He had got this job on compassionate grounds as his father who worked in the same department died two years back while serving the same department.

   The police found the television and several household articles trashed. Following was reportedly written in the suicide note signed by both mother and son:

“We are damaging a few things (precious) to us. We have already dumped some things in the Cauvery river along with Kumaresan’s ashes. We don’t want anybody to use these goods. Please destroy these damaged items. Our recently purchased ‘Tata Nano’ car, a bike, chit fund investments and other house hold items may be donated to orphanages or for charity.” They requested the authorities to repay the loan of Rs 50,000 taken from Canara Bank by drawing the money deposited in the Vijaya Bank. It was also written in the note: “We have kept some money on the table for our final rites. Please take it. Treat us like orphans and perform the final rites just like the way we did my brother’s. Take our bodies directly to the graveyard after the legal formalities.”

The day after

   There was nobody to claim the dead bodies. No one was rather interested to give homage to the two departed souls  in their neighbourhood. Finally Police had to depend on the President of the Residents Welfare Association to get the final rites done. Where were the friends and colleagues of the company where the son, Mr Sreenivasan worked? Where were the officials and colleagues of his brother Kumaresan, who was a government employee? (Remember, they were staying in a government quarters!) Where were the neighbours? Where were the relatives? Even newspapers carried this report just because it was a case of suicide by a mother-son duo. What would have happened if they had a natural death living in continued depression and mental ailments? Of course, no ‘news value’.

Some statistics


As per statistics of the World Health Organization, every year almost one million people die from suicide. That is one death every forty seconds. And 10 to 20 times more people attempt suicide worldwide. There is an increase of 50% in suicide deaths in the last half a century. Number of suicides are on the rise across various countries. See the WHO report.

As per latest statistics from India, an average of 15 suicides take place every hour in India. 1,34,599 persons committed suicide in India in 2010 (Report released in October 2011). And there may be cases where suicides are reported as natural death to avoid legal complications and social stigma. There is an increase of 24% in the number of suicides in the last decade alone.One in every three suicide victims were in the age group 15 to 45. Bangalore city recorded highest number of suicides across all cities in India. 41.1% of suicide victims were self employed. 7.5% were unemployed and 11.3% were salaried employees. Government servants were only 1.3% of the total suicide victims. (Source: Reports of Accidental Deaths and Suicides in India in 2010, National Crime Records Bureau (India) (October 2011), Ministry of Home Affairs).

Social Pathology

   The above incident clearly points towards the Social Pathology in the current techno-society. When relationships are managed by the keyboards and the emotions are expressed the form of emoticons, the relationships get blurred and can be wiped off by a momentary pressing of the button. The  interactions are never face-to-face but through cams and albums, the happy and sad events are shared through status updates than personal visits, and the personal and sensitive aspects of our life are shared  with people living in diverse locations. The boundaries are really permeable and life revolves around one or more sparsely knit social network groups. We live in a virtual platform free of any commitments, expectations and real life obligations. All is well.

   The excitement over increased friendship requests, vicarious satisfaction by seeing the profiles and snapshots, and obligation free contacts cannot bring in the warmth of a well-nurtured friend or relative,  living in the vicinity. It is equally necessary to have friends and relatives in real life who are physically proximate to us, who listen to us, share with us and support us in ‘real time’, face to face. There is a need to have a ‘network neighbourhood’ and the local social network should overtake the virtual social network. The deleterious impact of overdependence to the virtual friend network is the decreased time spent with friends, neighbours and relatives who stay nearby. Indeed, we become ‘isolates’, though claim to be a socialite in the cyberspace.

(Picture courtesy: impulse.org.in)

  The above happening is also a strong indication of the highly artificial relationship structure and interactions in the organizations we work. Colleagues need to build relationships of mutual sharing and support. Employers should not forget that they can play a crucial role in building healthy ties within the organization and they need to extend their support to activities that can make employees more active socially in a society plagued by selfishness, unhealthy competition and professional jealousy.

  One of the worst quotations I saw in my office entrance the other day. “Pressure in Work brings Perfection in Work”. My sympathies to my organization!

   Read the following poem. Written in 1883. Still relevant!

“Laugh, and the world laughs with you;
Weep, and you weep alone.
For the sad old earth must borrow it's mirth,
But has trouble enough of its own.
Sing, and the hills will answer;
Sigh, it is lost on the air.
The echoes bound to a joyful sound,
But shrink from voicing care.

Rejoice, and men will seek you;
Grieve, and they turn and go.
They want full measure of all your pleasure,
But they do not need your woe.
Be glad, and your friends are many;
Be sad, and you lose them all.
There are none to decline your nectared wine,
But alone you must drink life’s gall.

Feast, and your halls are crowded;
Fast, and the world goes by.
Succeed and give, and it helps you live,
But no man can help you die.
There is room in the halls of pleasure
For a long and lordly train,
But one by one we must all file on
Through the narrow aisles of pain.”

(Poem ‘Solitude’ by Ella Wheeler Wilcox    

Published in 1883 in New York Sun for which she received $5 for her effort)

Sibichen K Mathew