Plato said:
"He who is of a calm and happy nature will hardly feel the pressure of
age, but to him who is of an opposite disposition, youth and age are equally a
burden." Plato (427-346 B.C.)
When we
were too young, we wanted to be older. We wanted to dress up like elders while
we were in school. But as we grow old,
we try to dress up like young ones. Look at our own profiles in the social
networking sites. We try to put the most ‘young looking’ photos as profile
pictures! None of us want to become old.
We try to Google things and strategies that can make us look younger than
what we are. The world cosmetic industry is thriving with sales reaching about
$170 billion a year. We see new beauty parlors and cosmetic clinics being
opened every other day in our vicinity. Too many companies sell various types
of hair colors: natural, herbal and what not! I asked a friend of mine who looked
very young but for the grey hair, why he is not dying his hair. He said, ‘I
want to die only once’!
“You look
just the same!” This is the best complement one can shower on another when they
meet each other after many years. I used to see my Grandma putting the cream from the milk
all over her face every night before going to bed, even when she crossed 85. She
never accepted the fact that she was hard of hearing and always said she was having a
bad cold for the past two days and the ‘ears’ got blocked. Why to blame
Grandma! I felt uneasy when my daughter displayed my age prominently on the
birthday card pasted in the living room hall. I asked her, ‘why do you want to write
the age there?’
For people
who are getting old there are more worries than the unhappiness of being less
handsome or pretty. They worry about their failing health, the neglect they
experience and the powerlessness they feel.
Lundbeck Institute, India recently organized a
seminar on the topic ‘Ageing with Grace, Dignity and Courage’ as part of its
social initiatives. Lundbeck is a global pharmaceutical company committed to
improving the quality of life of people suffering from brain diseases. Its products
are targeted at diseases such as depression and anxiety, psychotic disorders,
epilepsy and Huntington’s, Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s diseases. Mammen Mathew
who leads its Team India, took the initiative to bring together three eminent
experts to speak on three important topics under the broad area of ‘Empowerment:
in spirit and mind’.
According to the organizers, there are two dominant views of ageing. First one
focusses on the physical decline and the consequent dependency. The other one
is about ‘successful ageing’ where physical and psycho-social activities play
major role. The seminar projected an alternate view that sees ageing as a ‘spiritual
journey’, that empowers to find meaning in one’s life and, therefore, reason for continued
life and hope.
Dr
Thimmappa Hegde
Dr Thimmappa
Hegde, the Director and Senior consultant Neuro Surgeon at Narayana Hrudayalaya
(and former Professor at NIMHANS, Bangalore) had the following to say at the
seminar attended by a large number of senior citizens:
In his talk
titled ‘From Ageing to Growing’, he said that the brain is the greatest asset. Are you
using the most of it?
The purpose
of life should be a life of purpose. There is only one 'unrepayable' debt for every
human being. That is the debt to the parents. But your achievements in life can
bring happiness to them. He narrated the following incident in the life of
Buddha:
When
Buddha was eighty, he called the faithful Ananda to him and said that he wished
to die in the city where he grew up.
Ananda
was grief stricken. "O Buddha," he cried, please do not leave us! For
so many years you have been our guide. What shall we do without you? Then he
began to sob bitterly.
Buddha
answered, "Do not cry, dear Ananda. I have always taught that death is a
natural part of life. It is nothing to fear. You must understand that. And when
I am gone, let my teachings be your guide. If you have understood them in your
heart, you have no more need of me."
So
Buddha and his disciples travelled back to his home city. Not far from
Kapilavastu they passed through the village of Kusinora. The Buddha asked them
to stop there and rest.Then he
turned to Ananda and said "This is where I shall pass away."Then
Buddha went out into the garden and lay down between two trees. His followers
gathered around him. Some were crying, but others, their minds completely at
peace, looked on silently.
The
Buddha spoke for the last time. "Remember what I have taught you. Craving
and desire are the cause of all unhappiness. Everything sooner or later must
change, so do not become attached to anything. Instead devote yourself to
clearing your mind and finding true, lasting happiness."(Source)
Ageing
happens at three levels: Chronological, Biological, Psychological. As Buddha
said, old age, sickness and death are inevitable.
Dr Hegde
quoted from the interview given by Author/physician
Shigeaki Hinohara when he was 97 years and 4 months to the Japan Times.
 |
| Shigeaki Hinohara |
'Energy
comes from feeling good, not from eating well or sleeping a lot.
All
people who live long — regardless of nationality, race or gender — share one
thing in common: None are overweight.
Always
plan ahead. My schedule book is already full until 2014, with lectures and my
usual hospital work. In 2016 I’ll have some fun, though: I plan to attend the
Tokyo Olympics!
There is
no need to ever retire, but if one must, it should be a lot later than 65. Share
what you know. I give 150 lectures a year, some for 100 elementary-school
children, others for 4,500 business people. I usually speak for 60 to 90
minutes, standing, to stay strong.
When a
doctor recommends you take a test or have some surgery, ask whether the doctor
would suggest that his or her spouse or children go through such a procedure.
Contrary to popular belief, doctors can’t cure everyone. So why cause
unnecessary pain with surgery? I think music and animal therapy can help more
than most doctors imagine.
To stay
healthy, always take the stairs and carry your own stuff. I take two stairs at
a time, to get my muscles moving.
My
inspiration is Robert Browning’s poem “Abt Vogler.” My father used to read it
to me. It encourages us to make big art, not small scribbles. It says to try to
draw a circle so huge that there is no way we can finish it while we are alive.
All we see is an arch; the rest is beyond our vision but it is there in the
distance.
Pain is
mysterious, and having fun is the best way to forget it. If a child has a
toothache, and you start playing a game together, he or she immediately forgets
the pain.
Don’t be
crazy about amassing material things. Remember: You don’t know when your number
is up, and you can’t take it with you to the next place.
Find a
role model and aim to achieve even more than they could ever do. My father went
to the United States in 1900 to study at Duke University in North Carolina. He
was a pioneer and one of my heroes. Later I found a few more life guides, and
when I am stuck, I ask myself how they would deal with the problem.
It’s
wonderful to live long. Until one is 60 years old, it is easy to work for one’s
family and to achieve one’s goals. But in our later years, we should strive to
contribute to society. Since the age of 65, I have worked as a volunteer. I
still put in 18 hours seven days a week and love every minute of it.'
(See full
interview reported in Japan Times here)
Dr Hegde
also mentioned about the following book. It is worth reading.
(Kathopanishad
is a unique Upanishad which starts with a katha (a story) of a young boy who is
ready to face the Lord of Death in his quest for Truth to know what lies beyond
death. He asks the very pertinent and philosophical question, Is there or is
there not, and if it is, what is it? In short, this teaching is an extravaganza
of spiritual knowledge and meditation that guides a student step by step to the
glorious state of immortality, peace and bliss. You can buy the book from Flipkart)
Dr Hegde
drew attention to four simple Sanskrit words, “Deham
Naham Koham Soham”
• Deham =
Body (Deh) am (is);
• Naham = I
Am (ham) not (Na);
• Koham =
Who (Ko am I (ham)?
• Soham = I
am (ham) That (So).
We can see below
a Christian discourse by a scholar in the above context.
“While they
were at the table He took bread, gave thanks and broke it and gave it to them
saying, ‘This is my body given for you. Do this in remembrance of me’” (Luke
22:19). He also took a cup with some wine and did the same saying, “This Is My
Blood”. When Jesus said, “This is My Body” He was teaching the disciples the
truth of the Bible and of all the Scriptures: 'I am not this Body - I do not
identify Myself with the body. (Deham Naham - I am not the body. Koham? Soham –
Who am I? I am that.) Because I am not the body, I break it and give it up for
you. In the same way, you should do the same in My memory. You should give up
body consciousness. This is a Divine Command.'
Ven.
Tenzin Namdak
Ven. Tenzin
Namdak who was an environmental researcher for the Ministry of Agriculture,
Netherlands before he took Bhikshu ordination from H.H Dalai Lama spoke
extensively on Spiritual Empowerment.
He
emphasized the following in his talk:
Every being
has the wish for happiness. One needs to eliminate the destructive
emotions to be truly happy. Only by
self-awareness, one can recognize and understand the nature of destructive
emotions. Self-discipline can prevent the
manifestations of destructive emotions by applying their antidotes. There
should be sustained contemplation by reflecting
again and again on the reasoning that establishes the faults of destructive
emotions and the positive qualities of their antidotes. Loving kindness and
compassion can eliminate destructive emotions.
Anger,
Attachment and Ignorance (stemming from deliberate action or inaction) are
destructive emotions. There is no
weekend course to eliminate anger. One has to learn through the experience that
anger is a destructive emotion and then try to take deliberate steps to avoid
it.
Every
person thinks that he suffers more than others. The fact is that suffering is
universal. Ageing is a reality. Understanding that reality is the antidote to
ignorance. There is no use worrying
about ageing. Cosmetic industry plays to that worry. Understanding impermanence
leads to a better acceptance of ageing. This will lessen the suffering.
Dr S Kalyanasundaram
Dr S
Kalyanasundaram, a Professor of Psychiatry at NIMHANS and past President of Indian Psychiatric
Society spoke on ‘Emotional Empowerment’.
He
emphasized the following in his talk.
Everyone
wants to live longer, without realizing what we want to live for? It is
necessary for all to get engaged in productive activities or in social,
economic, cultural and civic affairs. This is called active
ageing.
Active
ageing is the recognition and support to achieve one’s potential, continuous
engagement with family and society, independence, and retaining one’s dignity
despite the adverse environment.
Autonomy is
just a click away with the Information Technology. Senior citizens should not
be reluctant to learn to use the internet and the social media.
No point in
complaining ‘What is it I can’t do’. Share happily with others ‘what I can do’.
What are the areas in which there is an
improvement in health conditions? What are the things you learned new? What is
the knowledge you gained recently? What are the activities you engaged at home,
neighborhood and society? These are the things you need to share when you meet
your friends rather than sharing the news of your disabilities. Positive ageing is a stage where you are valued by and
contributing to community as age progresses. You need to foster social
connections.
At home,
you should know where to intervene and where not. You should ‘do with’ rather
than ‘do for’ other family members. One should not forget the fact that by
being older doesn’t mean that you are wiser than the youngsters at home in
everything. Try to respect the inputs from them.
There are four major fears for the senior citizens: a) Fear of
the process of dying, b) Fear of losing control, c) Fear of letting go and d)
Fear of losing life partner. All these fears are to be fought head-on. Accept
the reality as it is.
Concluding
note
When my
mother who is more than 70 years old tells me that she is going to plant teak
and jack-fruit trees on her land, she is in fact ‘growing from ageing’. The
message that she gives is, it is never too late to contribute to the society
and to the future generations. It is sheer selflessness. What else can bring
peace and happiness as one grows old?
Views are
personal ©
Sibichen K Mathew
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